Different for a purpose

For years I compared myself to others and judged myself. I rarely passed my own tests. I was often out of shape, I was too sensitive, I wasn't much of a sports fan, and there were other differences between myself and the "typical" guy image I saw in the world.  I often felt I came up short.  At times the self- judging and comparisons would lead to insecurity, pain, and near-paralysis.

In my adult life as I have sought the Lord and tried to give him the #1 place in my life he has very slowly begun to teach me something that is setting me free.

God created me with a very specific personality and led me through unique experiences to form me into who He wants me to be. If I desire to take on the personality, giftings, hobbies, and traits of others I fail to understand I have a unique and important purpose.  My differences are not for my regret but for my glory- and God's.

I have begun to allow myself permission to be who I am but not out of a manufactured self-assurance- but trust in God.

By practicing a lifestyle of recognizing God is at my side, and on my side, I can rest in differences and in His leading.  But its more, I have found the things I worry about or feel insecure about actually drive me to seek God more. When I seek God he takes the pressure and compression of my life and turns what sometimes looks like black coal in my life- into diamond.

I am sure I will still notice differences and may at times feel insecure. However, I now see my unique life is being slowly formed by God into something He can use for good and I see that as I seek the Lord he turns my doubt into peace.

Ironically, writing this blog is an example of a difference - most guys wouldn't open up like this and being this open has caused me problems a few times before. But I am going to trust God, be who I am gifted to be, and hit... Publish...

Let's GO God!