This section of my Website is a place I have designed to help you come to the Lord, grow in him, and work cooperatively with God to transform your life. I have written something here I call “The Agreement". It is a plan you can study and implement involving 12 steps for growing in the Lord. Each one played a key role in my own story of restoration and growth. My suggestion is to read one agreement per day for 12 days and pray about each one.
Agreement #1 - God loves you and is already at work in your life to save and restore you. He is capable of transforming your life and will do it no matter how damaged your life may seem right now.
You need to make a mental decision to believe in his love for you. Some individuals have had difficult lives and have not experienced much in the way of love. For them, understanding God loves them requires a big leap of faith at first but we must choose to accept his love in spite of how we feel.
You need to believe he is working within you and will transform you in the course of time. It may seem impossible right now that he could make good things come from your life but its true. Jesus said, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." We must make the decision to accept that he will give us hope and a future and that he is already at work.
Agreement #2 - God is completely faithful and deeply interested in every aspect of your life. He is a God of love who understands everything and is powerful. He cares about every need, problem, and hurt and wants you to trust them to him. You cannot accurately interpret the nature and love of God by your circumstances. You need an independent and unchanging way of learning about God and the Bible is the best source of independent and unchanging information about the character and nature of God.
Jesus said, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"(Matt 11:28). Another Bible verse says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."(Phil 4:6) From those verses we learn:
1.) God cares about each of us individually, and
2.) God wants us to bring everything to him and not worry.
We were not designed to be alone. In America we hear of "rugged individualism". That's good if we are talking about working hard and taking personal responsibility but when it means total self-reliance apart from God then we have missed God's plan and it actually leads to distancing ourselves from God and to self-pride. This was one of the issues leading to my personal downfall. Psalm 49:13-14 has strong words about those who only trust in themselves, "This is the fate of those who trust in themselves, and of their followers, who approve their sayings. Like sheep they are destined for the grave, and death will feed on them."
Trusting God takes humility and dependence- this is one of the keys to this agreement. Begin forming a habit of bringing the concerns, needs, and problems of life to the Lord in prayer, then trust him to help you. For example, you will have situations come up in life where you need help understanding something- this is not limited to any topic or issue. I pray for help understanding things related to: work, marriage, my kids, and untold issues. Also, you will encounter times in life when you will need wisdom and direction on various decisions- bring these questions to the Lord. My wife and I have developed a habit of "inquiring of the Lord" for many issues and it is remarkable how God answers those prayers. I could write a book just on our amazing answers to prayer. The Bible says, "Should not a people inquire of their God?"(Isaiah 8:19) When he gives you the answer thank him- and obey what he says. Trust that his way is best.
If you have areas of need the Bible says we are not to worry. Put God first, seek him, and he will supply your needs. The Bible says, "Do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."(Matt 6:31-33)
This is an exciting lifestyle to develop and you will see encouraging answers to prayer. You will end up reprogramming your mind over time so instead of stress, worry, and anger being your reaction to situations that arise-trust and prayer become your reaction. I now get the Lord involved in my life, job, and family several times per day through prayer and trust. It took awhile to develop the habit. Start now and when a problem, need, or hurt presents itself pray about it and trust the Lord.
Agreement #3 - Make the decision to believe when you pray that God starts working- every time. You must make the decision to believe and trust that every prayer will be answered by God and that he will help you with all of your needs. Some issues or needs you pray about will seem to be answered very quickly and others will take some time but you must choose to firmly believe the Lord is answering. Don’t try to micro-manage the answer to prayer itself. I see so many people who get discouraged in prayer because the Lord did not answer it in the specific way they asked or anticipated. Or they get discouraged because he did not seem to answer it at all. They often expect some dramatic demonstration of power as their answer to prayer. However, if they will take a step back they will always see that the issue was solved or the need was met- but it might have been met in a different way than you expected. You must understand it will not be very often God will send an angel down from heaven to personally and visibly answer your prayer. He often uses very normal-looking people and circumstances to answer prayer. He is so sovereign and is in such control that he most often uses simple and natural-looking ways of resolving your problems and meeting your needs.
Make sure you remember the things you ask for in prayer (a prayer journal is a great idea, I keep one) and later thank him for supplying the need, solving the conflict, or dealing with the issue. You will see that you have a 100% success rate in prayer. I know that sounds surprising. Step back and take a big picture view. Did the problem go away? Did you pray about it? Then you got your answer! Simple. This takes some practice but you will develop spiritual maturity if you develop an attitude of expectancy in prayer and if you develop an attitude of thankfulness in prayer and attribute these resolutions to the Lord. Think about how the need was met and then praise him and thank him for the answer- even if in your mind it seems that everything was just kind of resolved on its own. No, he answered your prayer and it is his choice whether to send a lightning bolt or simply to make the situation work out in a more regular way. Be thankful and always come back to him with gratitude and praise and you will grow in the Lord, in spiritual discernment, and in a prayer life filled with faith.
And on another prayer-related note remember he is our Father, Jesus said the Father would answer our prayers. He told us to be determined and persistent in prayer. And he said, “Which of you fathers if your son asked for bread would give him a stone”. He then said, “If you being evil know how to give good gifts to your children how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask. You must believe this and just decide this must be true matter how you feel or what you see or hear. Feelings and natural perceptions change day by day but your beliefs and your decisions will carry you in the Lord. You will find also as you read both the New and Old Testament just how faithful and powerful God is in answering prayer.
As part of this agreement you must also understand that some answers to prayer take some time but we must trust the Lord and “pray and not faint”. Thank the Lord even if it is taking awhile. Most of my answers to prayer are in hours, days, or weeks but I have a handful of prayers that involve God really changing large situations as well as people’s hearts towards him and it is well known that God is very merciful and in his mercy he doesn’t always bludgeon people over the head just to answer our prayers quickly. He is a God of order, peace, wisdom, and mercy. So we trust him, keep praying, and keep believing we will receive the answer eventually no matter how we feel. Doubt is just a feeling- we choose to ignore that feeling and agree with God that he is faithful.
Agreement #4 - The Bible is true every time, in every situation, and when we read it God will speak to us or teach us every time. To grow in the Lord we must agree that the Holy Spirit is with us and uses the Bible to teach us, train us, encourage us, correct us, set us free, and help us grow in the Lord. We must come to the Bible daily, say a prayer asking the Lord to lead us as we read and then carefully think about what we are reading as we read and expect the Lord to cause some things to really "jump off the page" or somehow speak to us in a special way. If something you read really applies to something you are going through – that is the Lord speaking to you and teaching you. Even if nothing seems to stand out to us during a particular session we must choose to believe God spoke to us and taught us anyway because he is faithful and because we asked him to. (you will find that in those times where nothing particularly spoke to you that the Holy Spirit will bring that Scripture back to your mind later on during the day or that week)
Agreement #5 - Tough faith. To grow in the Lord we must agree to have a determined faith. This means we choose to trust the Lord in every area of our lives. This means if we are depressed and we feel nothing but sadness we choose to trust the Lord and hope in him anyway. This means if we don't understand something we talk to the Lord about it and trust the Lord anyway. This means we do things that are tough even when we don't feel anything because we believe the Lord is with us and is helping us. We "walk by faith and not by sight"- we choose to live this way. Faith is not a feeling but a choice. 75% of the time I don't feel anything but I make the tough mental choice that I will trust the Lord with each situation, each request, each fear, each pain, etc and I continue to grow closer to the Lord, he reveals himself more, and he leads me faithfully. Begin to get in the habit of coming to him with each need and situation- this is absolutely critical to you and was the #1 foundation of my growth. Even if a tough situation pops-up and your initial reaction is not good, don’t fret, whenever you remember that trusting the Lord is an option – pray about the situation and then choose to trust him no matter how panicked, angry, tempted, or stressed out you are. Down the road you will remember sooner and sooner to trust in him vs. stressing out. Eventually your initial reaction will be trusting him and not stressing out, being afraid, being angry, being tempted, whatever the case may be. This is a miracle and will change your life. Your peace and joy will be infectious.
Agreement #6 - We will not turn back. We must agree the Lord is to be our life and we must choose to understand that anything he asks us to stop doing is loving on his part. He can see the whole picture. He can see the big picture of your life. He can see the long term of how things will affect your life down the road. So, he may whisper to your heart to discontinue some things. Yes, some of these things may be hard to give up at first but we choose to believe we will be happier in the Lord without them if we will obey. We agree to obey the Lord in these things and not allow anything to move us one inch further away from the Lord. This submission and surrender assures we will grow in the Lord and gradually become healed, healthy, free, and have the peace and joy he wants for us. We must agree to live a life in which we constantly surrender more to the Lord. Ask the Lord to help you surrender more to him. Ask him to give you an undivided heart. Ask him to fan the flames of devotion toward him in your heart.
Agreement #7 – Surround yourself with success. We agree to take a look at every aspect of our lives and prayerfully think about how each of the areas and influences of our lives would tend to lead to success or failure in the Lord. Most people don’t understand why they fail over and over in the Lord but if they would just look at their lives they would see they have surrounded themselves with failure and then hoped for success. You can’t surround yourself with things that are sinful, sinful rebellious friends, things that encourage you to sin, things that remind you of sin, and things that pressure you into sin and then wonder why you sin! Surround yourself instead with things that program your mind and your life for success and cause you to avoid bad influences. Program yourself for success not failure!
Agreement #8 – We agree if we stumble or sin we will confess it, turn from it, continue trusting God, and never give up. The Apostle Paul said, “We all stumble in many ways” and even though I have freedom at this point in my personal life in many of the darker sins of my youth I still have significant areas the Lord is working on. We must understand this is the Lord’s work and it is a process. We should run from sin but if we stumble we should confess and trust God to forgive and help us. 1st John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” So, we trust God that when we confess our sins- and turn away from them he forgives us and purifies us completely. We also trust God that as we “walk in the light as he is in the light we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus his son purifies us from all sin.” (1st John again) So, we understand that as we continue to come to him and seek him he does a gradual work in us that cleans us up- so our failures become less frequent as he changes us.
We also need to work on renewing our minds. We sometimes have a habit of failure but this is not necessary. Romans 5 says we are “dead to sin” so these habits of failures are really lies of the flesh and of the Devil. When we habitually sin as a Christian it is like a former prisoner who won’t leave his prison cell even though the door is wide open and there is no guard. For the Christian addiction is ultimately a lie, its about changing some habits and behaviors because the power of sin is dead in our lives. This is one reason why Romans 12 says “Do not be conformed to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” As we renew our minds/renew our ideas and beliefs we are transformed by that knowledge as it is ingrained in us more and more. (none of this is just a 2-week process you have to allow significant time and be patient with the process and keep it up) As we read the Bible and accept it as true and feed on pure, holy, and helpful things the Lord teaches us how to live and what to believe. This process gradually changes us through reprogramming. So, we will not be discouraged if we stumble and sin but we will sincerely confess our sins, turn from them to God and continue to seek him- knowing he will transform us. It’s his job- Paul told the Philippians “It is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” and we do our part by seeking him(spending devotional time) and working on obeying and transforming our minds.
Agreement #9 – We will spend time with the Lord. I speak with so many people who do good things like go to church and maybe even read Christian books. Those things (especially going to church which is absolutely critical and a command found in Hebrews) are good and will help you. However, there is no substitution for private devotion with God. We are truly changed in his presence. We must pray to the Lord and spend time reading the Bible daily. This is not an important way to grow in him- this is the main way. So many people have a hard time with this but simply start with 20 minutes. Start with 10 minutes in prayer and 10 minutes in the Bible. Over time you will want more/need more of this. In his presence you will find (over time) so much joy and peace that you will crave spending time with him. I have had some of the most powerful and marvelous experiences in the presence of the Lord during these private devotion times. However, you must understand that if you are a new Christian or if you are re-devoting your life to Christ you may have some mental barriers to break down. You may have to spend time with the Lord in this “quiet time” of devotion against your own feelings. This may feel very dry at first but trust the Lord. He said in the Book of James, chapter 4 that if you draw near to him he will draw near to you. This is true and I can promise you that you will grow through this and enjoy it- but you may have to force yourself for awhile.
A good daily Bible reading regime is to read a chapter in Psalms, a chapter in Proverbs, and a chapter in the New Testament (start with the Book of John). A good daily prayer regime is to spend 5 minutes thanking the Lord for everything you can think of in a sincere way, praising him for his goodness, and then spend 5 minutes asking the Lord questions and asking him for help with various areas. Start with prayer and at the end of it devote your Bible reading time to him and ask him to speak to you. Then do your Bible time. Keep this up and you will grow in the Lord.
Agreement #10 – The church and the fellowship. “The lone banana gets peeled”. I heard this expression a long time ago. We do need the encouragement and love of Christian fellowship. Hebrews 10:25 says we should not give up meeting together. Find a good Bible-preaching Christian church. Pray about this and the Lord will show you the right one. Attend faithfully and try to get involved as much as you can. Many churches have youth groups/singles groups/marriage groups/life groups/home groups where you really get to know people. The best scenario is if you plug into a good church faithfully and also join some type of small group.
Agreement #11 – Be a witness. We must share our faith. If you read the book of Philemon which is only 1 chapter long and can be read in 5 minutes you will see the Apostle Paul indicates those who share their faith get a personal spiritual benefit as well. I have found this to be powerfully true. I have some neat stories and each time I have trusted the Lord and tried to gently and lovingly witness I have learned something and have benefited myself spiritually as well as my hearers. Ask the Lord for wisdom and know your audience. If you know they are hostile they are probably not the right audience yet. The Lord can help, just ask. Don’t force it, be gentle, don’t accuse or be confrontational. Be loving. Many people have exactly the correct message- but they are dead wrong due to using a non-loving or judgmental approach. Ask the Lord for opportunities to gently share your faith at work, with friends, at home, and with extended family. Be patient with yourself. A good book is “Witnessing without fear”.
Have fun with this and try some creative ways of witnessing- gift giving can be a neat and non-threatening way to do this. At Christmas time my family goes out and buys nice Christmas gift bags, high-end candy, (but in bulk at a warehouse-type store) and other neat snacks. Then we write a Christmas poem (a new one each year) with a holiday-related evangelistic message in it and put it in the gift bag along with some holiday colored tissue. We have done this for 5 years in this neighborhood and I know for some of these houses it will be the only Christian love and Gospel witness they have ever received. For many of my neighbors it is probably the only type of Gospel message they would have allowed me to give them. We hand-deliver them door-to-door. After this many years they know we are coming and they always warmly greet us. I bring my kids and make it a family fun event. I started giving these to surrounding neighborhoods last year and we gave out 70 bags! You can start small. The point is get creative and ask the Lord to help you to begin some type of sharing your faith. I also had printed some simple, glossy business cards with an evangelistic message and a free blog website address where I wrote my testimony and I give them out at drive-thrus, restaurants, and anywhere I can. Its about asking the Lord for ideas and trying something. Remember, we trust the Lord even if we are afraid of something new.
Agreement #12 - We agree to have fun, not worry, and be patient with our growing in the Lord. Growing in the Lord and being set free in each area of our lives can take time. Meanwhile we need to spend time with the Lord, trust the Lord we are forgiven, spend time with some good Christian friends, be faithful to go to church, and try to spend time with people who are going to build us up and not tear us down and create temptation opportunities. We need to give ourselves time to grow and understand the Lord teaches us many of his lessons by experience and this takes a bit of time. So, we need to work, or study, or do what we are supposed to do right now and try to smile more putting our simple trust in him. And most of all learn that the Lord loves us and this is his work in our lives. We cooperate with his work but it is God who does it - not us. Our job is just to obey and love him- and spend time with him telling him how much we love him and appreciate him.
Will you make the decision to apply these 12 discipleship agreements? If so, it would be good for you to spend some quiet time with the Lord and discuss with him how you are going to put these into practice. I would read and pray one of them per day for 12 days- this would be a short exercise. Review them often!
