I am in an experiment to show myself a person can put God first, seek first his kingdom, and spend time with God daily. The experiment seeks to show if a person does put God first then not only will a crazy job and life not fall apart- it will thrive.
Its been a busy personal and work life for a week and a half. I've continued with this experiment nonetheless. After yesterday I know that I have such a long way to go... Yesterday at work I was trying to fix a certain situation for the company and every way I turned found me with more questions. I would begin to work on a certain aspect of the issue and immediately I would find a discrepancy. It was like peeling an onion and each layer I pulled back- there was another layer.
I really got frustrated about this and I even vocalized it. I even made a couple of sarcastic comments outloud. Obviously this is a bad idea because I am a people manager and there is no value in highlighting negative things to my reps. On the contrary, what I should be doing is encouraging them- and giving them solutions to deal with our challenges. So, I can really say I failed yesterday...
I think I need more rest so I am going to try to get some in the next couple of nights- and what I really want to do is have a little longer 1:1 time with the Lord and really soak in his presence. I love in Psalm 23 where it says "He leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul". What I really need is a time for the Lord to lead me quietly and restore my soul (soul= mind, will, and emotions). So, I am going to find a place to get away with the Lord maybe that will be on my lunch time today or if it has to wait until tomorrow - so be it.
I have to remember that whether I am in a test or not, whether I blog or not, the Lord is my Shepherd- NOT ME. I so passionately wanted to do a good job at work that when the information I needed for my project was a mess and when I was also tired from too much stuff going on- I didn't step back and just take a deep breath and lean on the Lord- instead I used the human coping mechanisms of complaining, frustration, and sarcasm. I was a bad example- even on the same day I blogged about making a difference at work..
In spite of the fact that I failed I am so delighted with the fact that God never left me. I love the fact that this journey- is a journey and I'm not alone. I love that God is my Father and I can pick myself up off the ground, go get the rest and the extra time with the Lord that I need to restore my soul- and move forward with progress.
Thanks Lord for your comfort and solace- I look forward to spending some extra time 1:1 with you soon, help me to do that.
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