What is this? An experiment. I am so busy and my time with the Lord was lacking. This is a test of spending time with the Lord faithfully for 30 days - the "Put God First Test". Its a test that by putting him first in my life and prioritizing time with him... he will help with the rest. I will blog daily during this test.
I made myself and my family available to the Lord today in prayer for whatever he has for us. I surrendered to any work, mission, or plan he has for us. Lord-use us for your will.
I was able to get the work project done yesterday that I was late for- in an unconventional way. I worked from home to allow the focus required for that project. Today and tomorrow are fairly packed days so it will be difficult to get the proactive thing done I wanted to get done- but you never know. I told the Lord again this morning that there are six reasons I am doing this test:
1.) I was working to the point of idolatry on my job to get things done and that is wrong.
2.) This test has to do with the belief that I can get more done by putting God first, in the long run, than taking it all upon myself.
3.) I didn't have a daily habit of seeking God and this is a habit I value and desire greatly.
4.) My children and wife need to see me seeking the Lord in order to firmly implant this in their lives.
5.) I want to be close to God.
6.) I want effective ministry to come from my life and my family's life- so I need effective seeking first.
There is someone floating around in my mind the past several days who I am upset with. It is no one who is reading this blog by the way- and not family. Its not a tremendously great reason that I am upset with them and they wouldn't particularly care if they found out anyway. I wear my respect on my sleeve a lot unfortunately- its just where I am at right now. What I need to do is forgive this person and treat them better than they treat me. What good is it if I say I am a Christian and I require good treatment in order to be kind to someone or forgive someone? I have repented to the Lord in prayer just now and I give myself permission to show grace, mercy, kindness, and forgiveness to this person- just as the Lord gave me those things before I knew I needed them or asked for them. This forgiveness journey, for me, is as hard- or harder- than the daily fight to be a pure man. Walking in forgiveness and living a life of unconditional love and grace is difficult for me- but if I turn my attention to this in prayer and practice I know the Lord can transform me in this area!
Bible Passage:
Psalm 51 - this is what spoke to me in my Psalm of the day:
1 Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight—
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge.(NKJV)
This entire chapter blessed and "fed" me this morning. It really came across with a lot of beauty and encouragement to me. Its so great that the Christian can come to God for forgiveness and restoration when we stumble. And its so amazing that the non-Christian is given the provision to be saved by simply coming to God through Christ. Really the passage above is a great model of humbling ourselves to the Lord and coming to him for his forgiveness and restoration at whatever state in life we are at.
I really want to share something with you that I have found which is amazing- I am a naturally self-critical person. I am very hard on myself. If I stumble and sin in some way I typically beat myself up a lot about it. But the amazing thing I'd like to tell you that I have discovered is when I come to the Lord and share with him what I have done, ask for his forgiveness, and ask for his help- I always have a great sense of peace and restoration. Or if I have grown cold in my walk, missed many devotional times, and am slipping and I come back to him- I come to him feeling condemned but I find a very welcoming sense of grace and restoration. What I am saying is this- the more I come to God in seeking and in prayer the more I am "SURPRISED", yes surprised. The more I need the Lord to help me in some area of failure or inadequacy - the more I am surprised at his kindness and gentleness. I come to him with my natural tendency to be self-condemned and he reverses me and shocks me with how loving he is when I do make the walk down that path toward him. What I mean is I think he's like me somehow- I think he is mad at me, disappointed in me, exasperated with me- like I am with myself. But because I don't want to leave the Lord I make myself come to him for forgiveness and repentance in spite of how I am feeling about life and about myself and when I do I not only do not feel condemned but I feel most welcome. I feel accepted, loved, forgiven, and I even see a purpose in the path I had taken. I realize I wasn't actually out of his plan at all- I realize he was with me.
The message I want to bring to you today is that no matter what you have done, no matter how prayerless you may be, no matter how few times you've read your Bible, no matter how many times you've stumbled- please trust a guy who is so naturally self-condemning that when you come to God in Christ Jesus you will find that he loves you more than you love yourself. He will welcome you. He will turn your chaos and back-slidings into purpose and fellowship with him. He will turn your mess into a testimony. You will be surprised that it is his PLEASURE to take you back. Come to him today!
Let's GO together God!
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