Exhausted / No safety net

I am exhausted. I am also dealing with a lot at work- notably some very disappointing decisions that hurt. Things have been very challenging of late. Also, it seems no matter how hard I work I'm rarely caught up with time to be proactive.

My answer in times like this is certainly always to work harder and to stick with it- that is always a fundamental answer for me and its really the "Howard way" starting with my own Dad. But I need more than that to feel ok about things from now on. I'm tired of just working harder and "sticking with it".

What I want to do is test the Lord in putting him first in the middle of it all. I want to radically put God first in my time and priorities even though it would seem impractical to an outsider. I want to do crazy things like when its stressful and slammed at work and I "shouldn't" leave my desk for lunch -- I want to go spend a half hour in my car praising the Lord. I don't mind booting up the work laptop at home at night but I want to be daring enough in my faith to shut it down to ACTUALLY play with my kids and (gasp) read my Bible before I go to bed. I want to do all of these "crazy" things while also working hard at work.(if you slack because you're "spiritual"..,you're not spiritual)

Matthew chapter 6 talks about seeking first his kingdom and all these things will be added unto us. The rest of the chapter talks about how people who don't follow God are always stressed out. Our jobs are our source of money and provisions and these people were running around in a flurry all the time seeking money, career, and meeting their needs. Jesus is saying in this passage to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be taken care of - and he follows that by saying don't worry.

Lord, help me to "DO" this scripture and not just read it. Help me to spend time with you when the circumstances say I shouldn't. Help me to play with my kids in the faith that you want me to be a good daddy and you'll bless me at work. Help me to work hard but not bow down to the idol of insane job-worship that wants to kill all of us and our families. Help me to live a no-safety-net kind of faith trusting in you.